I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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