It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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