sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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