why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i love accidental penises.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
