I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
