yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
