so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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