I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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