am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
