Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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