wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
