he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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