We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
