i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
NoShamevember. You game?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
