The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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