dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize