Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
