hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
