Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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