It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
