happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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