Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if i can run in heels then i can drive
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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