I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
