it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
