okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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