I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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