I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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