Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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