ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
