You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
