i barfeds in our rink
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize