we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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