Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
