She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
