Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
