wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
