Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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