at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize