Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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