i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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