the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
