his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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