i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
