I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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