So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Found your dick twin last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
