I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
