So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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