I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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