I'm going to rape someone's good day.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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