so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
