WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
