Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
