My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize