Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
